False Allegations Awareness Month
Please help fight false allegations: http://www.saveservices.org/false-allegations-awareness-month/
Here is an example of case:
And considering the woman is the one that committed the crime…look how sympathetic the reports are to her.
Since the law the rarely punishes women who do this…more women do. They can achieve their objectives and risk very little.
Then look how hard it is to get an innocent man free.
“…she has a harder time getting Mccaffry out jail than getting him into jail.”
Do you want to live in a country that convicts someone to 20 years will little evidence and then will not release him when the ONLY evidence recants.
An the interviewer is concerned that women are afraid to come forward and admin being raped because they won’t be believed. Does he not see that EVERY WOMAN is believed by police and prosecuters no matter how flimsy the evidence? (Duke Lacross, Hofstra) Lives are ruined for a lie.
In a rare occurrence…Biurny Peguero is sentenced to 1 – 3 years. But we still hear about HER sacrifice…she didn’t sacrifice…she fixed what she broke. I am glad she came forward but she still must pay the consequences of her actions.
What about the time he spent in jail for a crime he didn’t commit? Was he raped in prison? Did he lose his job? Did his family disown him? HE is the real victim her and all anyone talks about is her.
Please hold liars accountable for their lives.
The Cult of Motherhood
For the record, I am not a fan of the commercialization of any holidays and when I was single (and not particularly close to any family) was perfectly happy not celebrating any holidays. My husband needs to do nothing on Valentine’s and he is the one that insists on making anniversaries significant.
Ultimately, I am ambivalent about celebrating Mother’s day. Since I clearly believe that fathers are just as important to children as mothers I am continually frustrated that fathers on Father’s Day definably get second class citizenship compared to mothers. And even the President chooses Father’s Day to admonish dads (many of who cannot see their kids because they are stopped by their ex-es and the courts).
Here is a blog post about the mothers no one talks about.
“They believe the very common act of giving birth (dogs do it, cats do it, even rats do it) is an act of such cataclysmic importance that all humanity should bow down at their feet, let them use handicapped parking spaces (true story) and worship and give them special privileges and reverence just because they’ve reproduced. If only the physical act of giving birth could automatically make someone a good mother and a good person. Simply put, it doesn’t. In fact, becoming a mother can make a controlling, abusive, entitled, crazy woman even worse than she was pre-baby.”
I’ve seen many mothers act like they have special powers. And then of course there are the self-congratulating emails that I receive from female friends and family…I am pretty sure men don’t send email around saying how great they are.
Here is one of my emails (with my commentary in italics):
Time passes. Life happens.
Distance separates. Children grow up.
Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes.
Men don’t do what they’re supposed to do. [What are men "supposed' to do? Um, I don't always do what I am supposed to do. Why blame just men?]
Hearts break. Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
BUT……..
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. [Really, no one has had a sister who wasn't there? Really, not one of you?]
A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end. [Not all the women I know are that helpful and I know some men that are. These qualities aren't based on genitalia or hormones.]
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you..Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life! [Some do, some don't, same with male versions.]
The world wouldn’t be the same without women, and neither would I. [The world wouldn't be the same without men either. Considering if we were missing either we wouldn't exist.] When we began this adventure called womanhood [How about the this adventure called "life"?], we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still.[Yes, humans are interdependent.]
I also have a problem that as a society it as if no one can actually criticize any mother without being accused of misogyny. All the while being cool to dis dads. There are just as many bad moms as there are bad dads. But society and professionals who should be protecting children excuse and enable bad moms. The media so wants to excuse even child-killers if they are female (and find some man to blame). The judge in the Elaine Campione murder of her kids says:
He said, “It is more than disconcerting to think that if Campione had not been so abused, so used and discarded as a person, her two daughters could still be alive…” Judge Stong was determined that even if it is Campione that gets locked up, Canadians would know that the real villain, morally speaking, is Leo Campione, the father of the dead girls (even though his alleged abusiveness was entirely based on his wife’s allegations and never proved), and it is actually the “discarded” Elaine Campione who is the victim.
Judge Stong felt such personal animus against the grieving father that he wanted to deny Mr. Campione and his parents their opportunity to read a victim-impact statement, standard practice even with mandatory- sentencing cases. He only relented under strong pressure from the prosecutor, who reminded the judge that the murdered girls had been “an extremely important part of [Mr. Campione's] life.”
The more recent Lashanda Armstrong case where she drove into the Hudson River with her four kids in the car. The oldest was able to get free and lived.
But the headlong dash to find the children’s father responsible for their deaths is essentially identical. The children’s eyes had barely closed before news accounts breathlessly reported that Armstrong and Jean Pierre, father of the three dead children, but not of La’Shaun, had argued about his “cheating.”
Imagine, someone blaming the mother when a father kills his kids. That will never happen.
How many more children are killed because we worship mothers and can’t say anything bad about them? How many children are so damaged by their mother’s abuse (even though they had a perfectly fit father) that they grow up to be abusers? Of course, fathers can do damage in the same way but we don’t enable fathers…we punish them. We punish good dads because we are so afraid to question the divinity of the mother. Mothers commit the vast majority of parental murders.
By enabling abuse by mothers we get more it. Every time we do not punish an abusive mother, we create more abused kids. The Cult of Motherhood is even more divine than The Cult of Children (I’ll write another post on that).
I do hope all the good mothers had a good Mother’s Day.
The Movement to Disbar Mary N Kellett
http://www.avoiceformen.com/2011/03/29/the-movement-to-disbar-mary-n-kellett/
by Paul Elam
Hey, If Harry sent you, be sure to sign the petition! Thanks!
[Special note: I urge and implore all bloggers, anywhere on the internet, to reprint this article in its entirety with a link back to this page. Please help me get this event in front of as many eyes as possible. Thank you – PE]
Bar Harbor, Maine Circa 2011
There are often times that we shake our heads at injustices in the world. Sometimes it seems to be all we can do. And with so many problems in modern life, and their often systemic, intractable nature, it can be difficult to choose what battles to fight and when. Because of this we have increasingly become a nation of head shakers, concerned about an array of injustices but often not knowing where to turn or what to do to solve them.
With that in mind we have an opportunity, right here and now, to face down and fight against a terrible injustice, an absolute evil, going on in the state of Maine.
Vladek Filler is about to face trial for a second time on the charge of raping his wife, Ligia. He was brought to trial the first time by Bar Harbor prosecutor Mary N. Kellett, who has sought to imprison Mr. Filler despite the fact that she knows that there is no physical evidence that he ever committed a crime, and despite the fact that his accuser Ligia Filler, has proven to be a violent criminal, a liar who has been caught in false allegations against her husband, and a physical and emotional abuser of her husband and children with a history of severe psychiatric problems.
Ligia Filler has been referred to as “certifiable” by sheriff’s department personnel who she repeatedly threatened to kill.
Mary Kellett’s professional conduct in this case breeches virtually all canons of legal ethics where it concerns prosecutors, from intentionally misleading jurors to avoiding pretrial discovery to actually asking a law enforcement officer to refuse to comply with a valid subpoena in order to help her conceal exculpatory evidence.
All of this, and many other similar cases, have been conducted under the supervision of Bar Harbor, Maine, District Attorney Carletta Bassano, leading to the almost unavoidable conclusion that the problem is not just one rogue prosecutor, but one in which District Attorney Bassano is an enabling accomplice.
Additionally, all of these events have transpired without so much as raising an eyebrow in local news media.
Given the complicity of her supervisor and the lack of attention by local media, Kellet appears emboldened to continue this reign of terror on the life of Vladek Filler, his children, and other innocents who reside in the community Kellett is supposed to protect.
Vladek and son Andrew – 6 months before the persecution
After having Filler’s first conviction overturned by the Maine Supreme Court, due to her own prosecutorial misconduct, she is coming after him again, putting him through another trial on the same slipshod evidence.
Kellett is not pursuing justice; she is making a mockery of it in ways that border on criminality. She is out of control and no one with authority over her is doing anything about it.
And given the hubris demonstrated by her actions, it is clear she feels free to proceed with impunity.
We cannot, must not, allow this to happen.
This is a battle worth choosing to fight, and A Voice for Men is not the only place that is happening. Glenn Sacks at Father’s and Families, the nation’s leader in father’s rights advocacy is speaking out about this story. You can also read about it at The False Rape Society. This article will also be running at the-spearhead.com, with thanks to our good friend Mr. W.F. Price.
The organization Stop Abusive and Violent Environments (S.A.V.E.) has taken an even more significant action, sending a Complaint for the Disbarment of Prosecutor Mary Kellett to the Maine Board of Overseers for the Bar.
They have also authored a letter to Paul LePage, the Governor of Maine, referencing the disbarment complaint and making an appeal for an intervention on Mary Kellett on behalf of Vladek Filler and the people of Maine.
And you can do your part.
Write Governor LePage here and respectfully insist on an investigation to the practices of Mary N. Kellett. The message can be as simple as. “For the sake of justice, please assure that Mary Kellett is relieved of her prosecutorial duties and disbarred from the practice of law.”
Write the Board of overseers for the Bar here, and insist that they respond to the allegations against Kellett with an investigation.
Lastly, try to get the media involved. Bill Trotter does crime reporting for the Bangor Daily News. You can write email him at btrotter@bangordailynews.com or phone him at 207-460-6318 and ask him to consider investigating this story. This is a very important step as media attention will require political attention and action of some kind.
Don’t wait for others to do this, please, or think that just one person calling and writing is enough. That would be a fatal mistake.
When you have done one or all the suggestions listed here, please come back to this thread and simply put the word “done” in the comments, wherever you are reading this.
What is happening in Maine is only a microcosm of what is happening across the western world. So regardless of where you live, your insistent message to one or all of these people can help force them to consider looking in to Kellett’s activities. And make no mistake about it, Kellett’s actions, if unchecked, are a forecast of own future. We know this is a witch hunt, but because most are ignoring it, it will spread. If we take this silently, we have lost in the most tragic and disgraceful of ways.
This is a fight worth fighting, people. If you are reading this, you could be another Vladek Filler, or someone who cares about him. Your children could be hurt the same way his children have. And your freedom, even if seemingly secure today, cannot be assured for tomorrow as long as the likes of Mary Kellett are allowed to practice predatory prosecutions against innocent human beings.
And If she is allowed to build a career on doing this, there will be nothing to stop the same from happening where you live.
It is your future, and your move.
Purple Heart’s Final Beat
This is a chilling video…and leads me to be very angry and frustrated with the existing situation.
How many good men have to die…before we restore fairness to family courts?
How many children will become fatherless…before we restore fairness to family courts?
Please support presumed equal shared parenting.
“The country that forgets its defenders will itself be forgotten.”
–Calvin Coolidge
According to Wikipedia:
The incidence of successful suicide is vastly higher among males than females among all age groups in most of the world. In the United States, the ratio varies between 3:1 to 10:1.[4]
Because they are men, they have limited social help, they are expected to “man up.” Their suffering is invisible to most people. Please see them.
Not Enough Men To Go Around
This rant is a response to this blog post complaining about not enough men to go around.
This is caused by creating organizations and laws that help only women and girls. And what I call the “Gimme Mine” Syndrome (GMS). This syndrome seems to effect only women…but it could be that it is just ignored in men and they are told to “man up”.
The problem with GMS is that it often ignores the negative consequences to other people, especially men and boys. And then the needs of men and boys become invisible. If we are to succeed as a society we must treat the needs of both men and women together.
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t fail our boys in school. Currently, 57% of college students are female. Because society did everything to help girls succeed…they ignored boys and that fact that boys learn differently from girls. Everything from “girl power” to “boys are stupid; throw rocks at them” are leading to boys opting out. When a study showed girls were falling behind boys….out goes the rallying cry, “Gimme mine!” And it was given, no matter what the cost. Instead of improving eduction for both girls and boys, it was only for the girls, the boys be damned. But now that less boys go to college…there are less college educated men.
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we had presumed equally shared parenting. A divorce with children often makes a divorced father completely undateable. Men post-divorce often have financial obligations that use greater than 50% of his net income. Not much left to live on. Never mind the potential legal fees if his ex doesn’t let him see his children. A “fact” was passed around that women’s standard of living goes down after divorce and man’s standard of living goes up. So the “Gimme Mine!” got started. And it was given.
Unfortunately, no one did any fact checking and it was later determined that the “conclusion” was due to a math error. Common sense tells you when 2 incomes supported a single household that then becomes 2 households…both households’ standard of living decrease. But the “Gimme Mine” rally cry was too overpowering for the truth. Many divorced fathers are left destitute. And who wants to date them?
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we treated domestic violence fairly. Most handling of DV ignores the fact that women commit as much DV as men do and escalates normal relationship friction into DV. Many decent men who are only guilty of being in a relationship with a violent woman are now undateable because they have a criminal record (police are generally trained to arrest the man no matter what). Once a man has criminal record for domestic violence his job prospects are reduced. Plus who wants to date a male victim of DV…wuss. Women victims said “Gimme Mine”…and men victims are told to “man up”. (Note: I have no problem with helping real domestic violence victims…I just believe in helping all victims and avoiding the gender profiling.)
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we treated false accusations with same seriousness as other violent crimes. A false accusation has the potential to lock up an innocent man for many years. Even an accusation that never goes to trial can ruin a person’s life and even end it. One man is in jail for killing the man his wife falsely accused of raping her. So many innocent men are in jail, have records, killed, or are just ostracized and are no longer dateable. The “Gimme Mine” rally was so loud when it came to rape that truth and evidence became irrelevant. There should be a false accuser registry…oops sorry GMS only works to help women. No one cares about men’s suffering. I also have sympathy for real rape victims and false accusers hurt them too. Unfortunately, rape can be a very difficult crime to prove.
I could go on about the gender gap in prison sentencing, the gender gap amongst the homeless, the health care gap (women ALREADY live longer but still use GMS to get more funding), but you get the idea.
It is very interesting to me that we consider women to be the more nurturing and the more self-sacrificing gender with the above situation. It seems that BOTH men and women care more about women’s well being than men’s. That sure doesn’t sound very nurturing or self-sacrificing to me.
I’ve had women tell me that well, men have had control for thousands of years before. So they deserve to suffer now? Wow, really? You are OK with innocent men suffering to payback [perceived] injustices of the past that they have NOTHING to do with? Or well, women are still discriminated against, etc. So you can’t help men, until all your issues are dealt with?
None of this is good for society. Ignoring the suffering of half of society. Criminalizing non-criminal behavior when it is committed by men.
But back to the original post. Maybe we can get someone to care because single women can’t find any men to date. Where is the “Gimme Mine!” rally?
Domestic Violence – Double Standard
How often are we told that violence is always wrong? But apparently that only applies to violence against women. It seems many people believe that there IS a good excuse to beat a man. When I was growing up…every boy I knew was drilled that you never lay a hand on a woman but I was never told not to hit a man. Why aren’t we ALL told not to hit ANYONE? The action is crime…regardless of the victim.
Unfortunately, men who need help are invisible to most people male and female. Even worse for most abused men, if they call the cops-they will most likely get arrested (even if they are clearly injured).
This is not zero-sum game…caring for abused men doesn’t mean we don’t care about abused women. We should care about abused PEOPLE.
And dealing with domestic violence as if it only goes one way makes the problem worse. Men who need help for being abused don’t get it. Women who need help for the violence don’t get it. Couples that are mutually violent only get partial help which is more likely to polarize them. And most important of all the children of those abused men don’t get help.
Why is humiliating men so funny?
I watched House last night. It is one of the few shows I try and watch regularly.
Warning Spoiler Alert!
House regularly calls out everyone around him and is known for his bad behavior. As a character he is generally forgiven because he happens to be brilliant at his job. I couldn’t imagine myself working or being friends with someone who does such things. To me they are often mean. But he is a fictional character that I enjoy watching.
I want to talk about a side plot line from last night. Apparently, someone hacked into Chase’s Facebook and posted a naked picture of him with an extremely small genitalia. This, of course, is funny to everyone.
And that is exactly what I have a problem with. Why is humiliating men funny. If someone did the equivalent to a woman…it probably would be considered criminal harassment.
Based on the picture, they determine it must be taken when Chase was at a wedding and hooked up with 3 different women.
But it even gets worse…the person made a donation to a charity using Chase’s credit card of $2500. Stealing and fraud…is all fun and games when it happens to a sexually loose male.
Historically there has been a double standard that says that women should be chaste and men should be loose.
It seems now our culture as gone too far the other way. Female sexuality is something to be proud of and flaunt. But male sexuality is dirty and gross. Something to be punished.
It turns out the woman who did this to Chase was one he spoke to at the wedding but left stranded after she made it clear she wasn’t interested in having sex right away.
She decided to punish him for not being a nice guy. And sure what Chase did is nothing to be proud of…but it wasn’t criminal. And he never publicly humiliated her.
She feels he deserves to be humiliated AND she committed a crime because he was a jerk. THEN he still wanted to date her. Sounds like a victim of domestic violence who blames themselves for the violence.
No where in the show did anyone imply that what this woman did was criminal. When men do bad things both men and women stand up and say they should be punished but when women do bad things (especially to men)…no one does.
My Christmas Wish
My Christmas wish is for that every child be allowed to love and spend some part of the holidays with both their father and their mother (and extended families).
Unfortunately, our courts system does not want this. How do I know this? If they did they would encourage shared parenting, and even more specifically enforce visitation as seriously as they enforce child support. Clearly they do not. My suspicion is that it has to do with the money…rather than children. Family court clearly does not care about children or it would enforce visitation because there are mountains of evidence showing that children do better post-divorce if both parents are involved.
If you are a divorced/never married parent…please do yourself and your child a favor…let them love and see their other parent. Don’t make them choose.
Thank you and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year!
Few People Care about Men’s Health
It is October and every where you look you hear about Breast Cancer Awareness month. This is from both men and women. Both men and women care about women’s health. Even the bastion of masculinity the NFL wears pink to play. I agree this is an important cause.
It is men’s nature to protect women. And most men have mothers, sisters, daughters, etc that they care about.
But what about Men’s health? Did you know that almost as many men die of prostate cancer as women die of breast cancer?
Did you know that September was Prostate Awareness Month? Yeah, me neither. No one talked about it.
According to: http://www.menshealthnetwork.org/wapc/HP%202020%20WAPC%20Testimony.pdf spending on Women’s Health vs Men’s Health favors women 6.5:1.
Funding for gender research at NIH includes:
i. $ 4,376,000,000 for women’s health (breast cancer, cervical cancer, ovarian cancer, and “women’s health”)
ii. And $345,000,000 for men’s health (prostate cancer)Funding for programs at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention include:
i. $ 309,486,000 for breast and cervical cancer
ii. $ 13,243,000 for prostate cancer
If women lived shorter lifespans than men…wouldn’t everyone be fighting to get extra funding for women? Then why doesn’t it happen the other way?
Why does it seem that men speak out for women more than they do for themselves?
Why does it seem that women don’t speak out for men as much as men speak out for them?
Also from the pdf above:
“As a woman and representative of Women Against Prostate Cancer, I know that gender disparities in health do not affect men in isolation, but can lead to devastating consequences for entire families. Children missing out on spending time with their fathers and grandfathers, wives becoming widows when they should be growing old with their husbands, and families left in poverty with the death of their fathers and husbands.”
My Vision
My vision is to create a world in which we honor fathers the way we honor mothers.
Only then can we achieve true gender equality.