Not Enough Men To Go Around
This rant is a response to this blog post complaining about not enough men to go around.
This is caused by creating organizations and laws that help only women and girls. And what I call the “Gimme Mine” Syndrome (GMS). This syndrome seems to effect only women…but it could be that it is just ignored in men and they are told to “man up”.
The problem with GMS is that it often ignores the negative consequences to other people, especially men and boys. And then the needs of men and boys become invisible. If we are to succeed as a society we must treat the needs of both men and women together.
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t fail our boys in school. Currently, 57% of college students are female. Because society did everything to help girls succeed…they ignored boys and that fact that boys learn differently from girls. Everything from “girl power” to “boys are stupid; throw rocks at them” are leading to boys opting out. When a study showed girls were falling behind boys….out goes the rallying cry, “Gimme mine!” And it was given, no matter what the cost. Instead of improving eduction for both girls and boys, it was only for the girls, the boys be damned. But now that less boys go to college…there are less college educated men.
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we had presumed equally shared parenting. A divorce with children often makes a divorced father completely undateable. Men post-divorce often have financial obligations that use greater than 50% of his net income. Not much left to live on. Never mind the potential legal fees if his ex doesn’t let him see his children. A “fact” was passed around that women’s standard of living goes down after divorce and man’s standard of living goes up. So the “Gimme Mine!” got started. And it was given.
Unfortunately, no one did any fact checking and it was later determined that the “conclusion” was due to a math error. Common sense tells you when 2 incomes supported a single household that then becomes 2 households…both households’ standard of living decrease. But the “Gimme Mine” rally cry was too overpowering for the truth. Many divorced fathers are left destitute. And who wants to date them?
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we treated domestic violence fairly. Most handling of DV ignores the fact that women commit as much DV as men do and escalates normal relationship friction into DV. Many decent men who are only guilty of being in a relationship with a violent woman are now undateable because they have a criminal record (police are generally trained to arrest the man no matter what). Once a man has criminal record for domestic violence his job prospects are reduced. Plus who wants to date a male victim of DV…wuss. Women victims said “Gimme Mine”…and men victims are told to “man up”. (Note: I have no problem with helping real domestic violence victims…I just believe in helping all victims and avoiding the gender profiling.)
Single women’s prospects wouldn’t be so bad if we treated false accusations with same seriousness as other violent crimes. A false accusation has the potential to lock up an innocent man for many years. Even an accusation that never goes to trial can ruin a person’s life and even end it. One man is in jail for killing the man his wife falsely accused of raping her. So many innocent men are in jail, have records, killed, or are just ostracized and are no longer dateable. The “Gimme Mine” rally was so loud when it came to rape that truth and evidence became irrelevant. There should be a false accuser registry…oops sorry GMS only works to help women. No one cares about men’s suffering. I also have sympathy for real rape victims and false accusers hurt them too. Unfortunately, rape can be a very difficult crime to prove.
I could go on about the gender gap in prison sentencing, the gender gap amongst the homeless, the health care gap (women ALREADY live longer but still use GMS to get more funding), but you get the idea.
It is very interesting to me that we consider women to be the more nurturing and the more self-sacrificing gender with the above situation. It seems that BOTH men and women care more about women’s well being than men’s. That sure doesn’t sound very nurturing or self-sacrificing to me.
I’ve had women tell me that well, men have had control for thousands of years before. So they deserve to suffer now? Wow, really? You are OK with innocent men suffering to payback [perceived] injustices of the past that they have NOTHING to do with? Or well, women are still discriminated against, etc. So you can’t help men, until all your issues are dealt with?
None of this is good for society. Ignoring the suffering of half of society. Criminalizing non-criminal behavior when it is committed by men.
But back to the original post. Maybe we can get someone to care because single women can’t find any men to date. Where is the “Gimme Mine!” rally?